I Had My First Colonoscopy
[ Wednesday March 4th 2026 at 5:04 pm ]
My day started at 3 a.m. I woke up to have diarrhea as part of the preparation for a colonoscopy I had scheduled for 10 a.m.
The walk to the toilet got me out of breath. The diarrhea was nothing more than turning on a tap. The walk back to my computer was like I had completed a marathon. I was winded. Then diarrhea called again 10 minutes later. At that point I was seriously out of breath. While having diarrhea again I noticed I couldn't see any of my veins. I drank 1.2 liters of Gatorade and about 600 mL of water. I was so out of breath that I went to the emergency department. I live by myself. I was concerned about fainting caused from being dehydrated.
The hospital emergency department kept me under observation because I drank so much fluid before coming to the emergency department. The emergency department called the endoscope unit when they opened for the day at 7:15 a.m. They took a message for my colonoscopy doctor. He called back at 9:15AM. At this moment my scope was planned for 10AM. He wanted to know if I still wanted to do the colonoscopy and if I had the preparation for it. The answer was yes to both. This doctor took the position that if I still wanted to do it and the emergency department doctor cleared me to have the colonoscopy he would have the schedule re-gigged and make it happen for me.
The emergency department was a nightmare. There were so many critically ill people that the plan was for me to be the first patient seen at 10AM when a second doctor came on. But there was a medical crisis. I was seen around 10:50AM. It was a doctor that immediately recognized me. I know her and she remembered me specifically. She started to apologize for the delay. I cut her off and told her not to today. We skipped the rest of the niceties.
She wanted to know if I had been experiencing a cough, cold, fever or flu. None to all.
Then she asked if have pain? I've got arthritis. Of course I have pain. I made her laugh. What mattered was no to chest, stomach or abdomen pain.
She wanted to poke and prod me everywhere. I was fine with this. I had a good poking.
Then she wanted to know the medications I was using. I keep a list on my tablet. I bring this with me to the hospital when I need to use the emergency department. I hand the triage nurse my tablet with this open each time. It makes life so much easier. In this instanced I printed it out I wrote down "See Attached" on the screening questionnaire. I did the same for the all the surgeries I've had. The emergency department doctor said out loud: "Woah! You came prepared!" This was over the typed list of all the surgeries I've had and my ability to present it in a chart form that was concise yet detailed enough to tell a narrative. Then she got the page of my medications. She was equally impressed. The "cherry on top" was that I've even included that there is a specific antibiotic medication I must take prior to dental care until 2028 because of my recent hip surgeries. This is to prevent my new artificial hips from getting infected. The studies show it takes 2 full years to heal and for the body to accept the hardware as belonging.
The final question was about my actual diarrhea. It needed it to be clear for the colonoscopy to be successful. The two instances leading my decision to attend the emergency department were clear liquid. This means the probe could travel inside me without being impeded.
There was no medical reason not to have the colonoscopy today. The emergency department doctor left to arrange my colonoscopy to happen that day. The nursing staff asked me if I would be willing to wait in the hallway of the emergency department. This is typically where they treat cough, colds and give IV fluids. This keeps rooms freed to treat patients who need to remove clothing for their treatment.
I had been listening to soothing music using my phone. Specifically there is a 1990 era recording by Kenny G I like putting on. The song is called Songbird. When I need to give pre-surgery screening a good blood pressure reading and also on each of mornings I've had to admit myself to hospital for surgery I've put this on to listen to. I might add pretty quickly all the patients that are having surgery each it. I wasn't enjoying the time at the hospital today. I hadn't ate for 1½ days. I was lethargic from this. I was physically tired from the challenges my knee is causing. I put the song on my phone. There is a specific version that is just over an hour that has keeps playing it. That song is nice for background music.
About 10 minutes later a 75 year old man was moved into the heal beside me. He needed a liter of IV fluids to stabilize him. I thought I'd make casual conversation with him. He wanted the company. When I asked him how his day was going he said to me that his IV stint just came out of his hand and blood went everywhere. He is on blood thinners. I had a giggle. I said to him that these things happen. Then he asked me how my day was going. I told him I was going to be having a colonoscopy and to have guess. He had a giggle. We talked for 45 minutes. I even got a nurse for him when his IV machine started beeping because he raised his arm up a bit and the IV machine thought it was blocked.
Eventually a porter brought me over to endoscope. When I got into this area of the hospital I introduced myself by saying "I'm from emerg. I bet you know about me by now." That is one way to put a clerk in a good mood. She giggled a lot.
A few minutes later a nurse came for me in their waiting room. She wanted to know how I was going to get home. I was honest. I told her I had made plans. They won't work because I came to the emergency department using my power wheelchair and none of my friends have the tow bar adapter that transports a power wheelchair within city speed limits. She asked me if I would pay for a taxi home. I responded absolutely. I didn't fancy going through the preparation for a colonoscopy a second time.
She brought me in to the staging area. We did my body weight and height. Then she went over the screening papers with me and asked me the last time I ate and drank. I made the nurse laugh hard. You aren't suppose to eat after midnight. I told her I got legalistic and had my last meal at 11:58PM. There is nothing like getting a nurse laughing. She said to me "Ron I can't write that down. I will put 11:55PM". Then she wanted to know about drinking. I told her about drinking roughly 1.8 liters at 3AM. This was fine. The physical ailments all stem from my knees. This isn't a reason not to have the colonoscopy. At the end of all the questions and her funny answers back to me I said "You know what? I like you."
A few minutes later she walked up to me and said let's get you into a bed and changed. I was able to do this myself. It takes me time to do so myself. If I needed help from my orthopaedic issues I am positive she would have done so with dignity. In the meanwhile I had the same song playing on my cell phone. A nurse walked to my bed, said she had been listening to the song and could finally place it. She asked if it was Kenny G. When she said I was aging myself I told her I didn't get this grey beard or grey hair for nothing.
The endoscope doctor wasn't put off by what had transpired. He wanted to know any symptoms he specifically should be looking for. My colonoscopy was to rule out everything that could be a cause. This would leave the treatment plan from February 23rd 2026 as being viable.
Then it was the anaesthetist turn to speak to me. He introduced himself. I said to him "Can we just cut to the chase? I've had a pile of hip surgeries and I don't have problems with the anaesthetic. My 2025 operations were both general anaesthetics. The only complication in 2025 was some nausea as I came out of it." I gave him a second to process this. Then I explained I have no questions about the drug used for sedation. He was happy with this. He just needed to ask the usual "do any family members have trouble with anaesthetic" questions. Then I said "Thanks man". He responded "You are welcome guy". As an adult I've had these conversations so many times now that I didn't see any need to spend the usual 10 minutes talking it through.
He found a polyp and removed it. They also took samples to check for micro colitis. Otherwise my insides don't reflect someone using a wheelchair and using chronic pain medications for 20 years. Amazingly my body is healthy apart from the orthopaedic issues.
Then we ran into a serious problem. The taxi call center would not take me home because we didn't book it 24 hours in advance. This call center is a part of the parent company's head office in Ottawa. I am positive the local taxi service would have made a wheelchair van available for me if they knew this was needed. This a bigger problem than it appears on face value. The reason is because this puts the hospital same day surgery unit in an unknown. As of right now colonoscopies will be cancelled if the patient arrives in a power wheelchair and doesn't have transportation already booked for the return trip home. Tomorrow I am going to send a letter in the mail to the local taxi company, explain what happened and ask if they would give me a back channel local phone number for their operations I may use and also provide it to the hospital for their same day surgery unit to use.
I told my nurse that we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves and let's see if I can get a ride either from the public transit mobility bus service or if the not for profit organization that takes me to my medical appointments would get me home.
The app for the public transit mobility bus service was fully booked. I figured I had nothing to loose by calling dispatch to confirm this. Initially I got their voice mail. I left a concise message. Dispatch called me back 10 minutes later to say they didn't have any slots available. He felt bad. I simply said to him "Plan A changed. I didn't have anything to loose by trying to reach out to you. Thanks for trying."
Then I called the not for profit. They gave me the "off the cuff" answer: They were dealing with an emergency. But then it dawned on the person who I was talking to that it was me calling from a hospital. They all know I had to cancel February 27th 2026 on short notice because my knee got me really dizzy and feeling like I was going to vomit from the pain. She stopped mid-sentence as she was declining me. Then she asked if I would hold while she figured this out. I said this was no problem. It took 10 minutes. I was offered a 4:50PM ride home. I responded that my "plan A" had to change and I'd accept this.
I used my power wheelchair to approach the nurse. I said "Great news. I've got a ride home. There is going to be a wait. Do you care if I go up to the hospital cafeteria and buy a meal?" She didn't. I treated myself. I even had a medium size hot chocolate.
I just took my time. Then I came down to the main entrance to wait where I could look outside for the final hour long wait.